STARMOTE

The deepest trauma a person can feel is losing someone they love—
especially someone younger. My cousin.
The most innocent, sweetest sister anyone could ask for.

I want to offload this pain.Maybe writing it here will help.I don’t want to go into the details of her life.

It started with something small. She had lost ₹2000. My aunt scolded her for it.To scare her… she set herself on fire.

There was no one at home.No one to stop her. No one to help.I still can’t imagine how much pain she must have endured.

Within a week, people started saying her spirit was haunting another cousin’s daughter.I felt… repulsed.That wasn’t her.That couldn’t be her.

That night, she came in my dream.

She asked,
“Anna, shall I come with you?”

And I said,
“Nee va ma… namma veetukku.”

I woke up crying.Not just crying—I cried until the sheets were soaked.

And even now… I carry this.

The guilt of not asking her,
not noticing,
not once saying—

“Are you okay?”